Hello, my hungry little subscribers! (You all say ‘hello!’ back to me, in unison.)
I haven’t written to you all in a good long while (since August!) and that is so crazy because this newsletter was a pillar of my identity for a long time prior to this little gap. So many things have happened in the last few months… *checks the news* oh, they were mostly all bad. Cheers to the United States of Beautiful and Fucked Up America!
Much of this break is due to a shift in The Way I Am*. I started journaling consistently in January — yes that’s right, forming a dialogue with the self and nurturing that conversation. In a way, this newsletter was the preface to that special bond I have with myself — that bond now lives in my journal, though, which naturally led to a slowdown on all things over here. I was dealing with my problems… in private?!?
*important — when you read The Way I Am, did you think Ingrid Michaelson or Charlie Puth? Or a third option? Or neither? I thought Charlie Puth instantly lol. Also can he just release a sex tape or something? What is his use to society? (This is coming from someone who was obsessed with his sophomore album Voice Notes, by the way. I ask for a sex tape from him, with love and light.)
Things are… good… *eyes dart around nervously*
I have a job that challenges me but I am also really good at, with coworkers who are funny, smart, caring, thoughtful, and theee best. I have made a lot of new friends in the last year and change, and I am really proud of the interconnections that have formed in this new network of friendships. I’m seeing a cute boy who doesn’t skirt around, avoid, hide, or mask his emotions, and thank god he is not a water sign!!! I have broken the curse.
And while I am still a career overthinker, spending hours some days jumping to conclusions and catastrophizing because of some inconsequential observation, a lot of things are holding in place. Nothing is actively coming crashing down on me, nor is anything threatening to.
I want to jump on this opportunity of mindfulness and get back to writing this a little more often. I don’t have any dreams of turning this into something profitable or otherwise commercially successful (I used to), but I guess a few goals would be to:
update people on my life
share art and media that captures my fascination
explore my writing voice and impart stories unto you
be so funny as hell
I also have been dancing around this, but I am TRYING to do standup again. It has been over a full year since my debut, which I feel very proud of but also know I have so much more to say and build on. But you guys, I am LAZY and I am still a little scared of it and most importantly I am LAZY. So please keep asking me when I’m doing it next. Apply pressure! Bully me! Figure out who my enemies are, and remind me of all the things they’re doing very successfully, which will make me absurdly jealous and trigger my competitive drive! I know you can do it.
Ok, talk to you soon, but before I go lemme share some art and media that I have been fascinated by lately.
Aftersun | This Paul Mescal-led drama is sunbaked, profound, and as gentle as possible with its devastating material. The story follows a father-daughter relationship between Sophie (11) and her father Calum as they take a summer holiday (and Calum struggles with what seems to be a lifelong battle with depression). I used to completely ignore the parental POV of raising a child, both in and outside of film, but movies like this (and The Lost Daughter, which also coincidentally counts Mescal in its star-studded cast) make me (over)think the mindfuck of having a kid. Mescal and Frankie Corio (Sophie) are utterly dazzling and heartbreaking; watching this movie made me want to hug everyone I’ve ever met.
Janky Star | The latest album from experimental popstar Grace Ives has been soundtracking my last 48 hours — it’s introspective, dance-y, mesmerizing, and expertly produced. The sonic quality of this record… gah! I downloaded the 22-minute album (short n sweet baby) before flying back to NYC Friday and had played it four-and-a-half times by the time we were touching down at Laguardia. I would like to hug this album!
Baskets | The Zach Galiafinakis-led series is so weird and goofy while simultaneously demanding your attention. There are ten billion funny little quirks in each scene, between the makeup and styling and writing and acting (thank god for Martha Kelly) and, well, all of it. I discovered after the first episode that Louis CK was a co-creator and producer of the first two seasons… I am going to separate the art from the artist on this one!!! I would not like to hug Louis CK, btw.
OK thanks.