Welcome to FRONTSEAT! This newsletter is an ongoing commentary on pop music, pop culture, and, oftentimes, a real-time unraveling of my own psyche. If you find yourself enjoying this, I would love it if you sent it to someone you think would, too!
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN CHARLI XCX LET THE GOOD ONES GO?
On September 2, something shifted in the culture, and it wasn’t my bowels!!! *slaps knee* *insert ten-minute laugh track* *slaps other knee* *Joan Rivers comes back to life to thank me for such a good joke* *meteor crashes into earth wiping out human civilization and only JoJo Siwa is the only survivor*
Yes, Charli XCX’s new era has arrived, and my theory about her going main pop girl was CORRECT! I love being right.
She dropped her new single ‘Good Ones’ alongside a music video, full of everything you want from a main pop girl: choreo! Looks! Imagery! Story! A HOOK! Cinema! Panache! And all the rest.
The song is a complete banger and the pre-chorus is one of the best I’ve EVER HEARD! It rivals ‘Are You Ready For It…?’ by Taylor Swift, which in my opinion has one of the most intoxicating pre-choruses known to the human race. Oscar Holter produced the song, and as the main producer behind ‘Blinding Lights,’ ‘Dancing With Our Hands Tied,’ ‘RUNAWAY WITH ME’ (!!!) and ‘Don’t Feel Like Crying’ (a Sigrid bop), it is fully unsurprising that this one also goes off off off.
Meanwhile, Hannah Lux Davis, who has made like half of Ariana Grande’s music videos, directed the MV — and it is amazing! We are not surprised!
Dua Lipa keeps commenting on Charli’s posts and I’m going to come forward now with my theory that she will be featured on the Charli album. That would be extremely main pop girl vibes to have Dua on it, and if I don’t say so myself, we might as well include Doja and Ariana because that would be cute as well as cute. And Tinashe. And Tove Lo/Carly Rae/Caroline P/Kim P feel like obvious choices as former collaborators and all of those collabs would be extreme bops. OK maybe I should just be Charli’s manager at this point.
I DID HALF DOME!
I went to Yosemite last week and my lord, climbing Half Dome was the hikiest hike I’ve ever done. Olivia and I woke up at 4:45am, filled up our four water bottles (each) and got to work!
The hike to Half Dome is mostly uphill, and most of the uphill portions are switchbacks, which are evil little girls and they are not to be trusted or engaged with unless absolutely necessary. What I’m trying to say is that all of the switchbacks were horrendous and exhausting but also my ass is now a shelf.
We began at 5:30ish at the trailhead. The sun was asleep and we used headlamps for the first hour or so (drama). It was breathtaking to see the light ooze over the mountains, and the lighter it got, the more beautiful our surroundings! The first marker of the trip was Vernal Falls, which, despite the dryness of August leaving many of Yosemite’s waterfalls pretty weak, was impressive. Ushy-gushy vibes.
The base of Vernal Falls was about an hour into the hike, and it was also the last stop for water, which of course was scary because we still had like six miles to go (and then come back). We refilled, then set off for the next stop, which was Nevada Falls.
OMG this is actually really boring, I’m reading this back as I’m writing it and like who even cares???
I’m going to fast-forward to Sub Dome, which is this giant dome that is like the last big thing before Half Dome itself. Maybe Pre-Dome would’ve been a smarter name for it but naming huge rocks is not what God put me on Earth to do.
I told Olivia that Sub Dome was like the Elite Four in Pokemon, where you battle four very difficult Pokemon trainers at the end of the game. It’s like the epic finale of the entire thing, and you get so stressed about it but ultimately it’s the true test of your training and skill. After the Elite Four, though, you realize there’s ANOTHER final FINAL boss after that that you have to beat, even though your Pokemon are weakened and maybe even fainted. It’s certainly a slap in the face!
The final FINAL boss is always so ridiculous, with Pokemon that are like fifteen levels above your strongest one (bc you should’ve trained them harder), and you’re like Jesus and your hands are sweating on your little GameBoy and you’re maybe going to cry. But you’ve come THIS far and you can’t give up now.
Anyways, I was out of breath and explaining this to Olivia and she was also kind of dissociating and was like “I’ll be honest I have no idea what you’re talking about” and I was like “OK fair.” And then we continued to hike.
At the base of Sub Dome is the park ranger who checks your permit to do the hike. Imagine hiking five hours to Sub Dome only to realize you need a permit and you can’t do the rest of the hike that you came all this way to do! We saw a guy who had this very dilemma and it sucked for him.
The park ranger has a whole spiel about how you should stop if your body is giving out or if you’re too scared, and it’s okay to turn around at any point, and don’t put yourself in danger for your ego. Which… all I do is prioritize my ego, so I immediately became terrified.
But we trekked on, climbing these big stone steps up Sub Dome. We were around 8,000 feet in elevation at this point, above the tree line, the sun beating down on us. If you walked a few steps in the wrong direction you would simply slide down the mountain or fully off of it, which nobody told me about before the hike, and my hands are literally sweating right now as I type this because it was so scary.
The steps gave way to literal just upwards incline slabs of rock, positioned maybe at 35 degrees, so you’re just freeballing it (that means there’s nothing to grab onto with your hands) up the rest of Sub Dome.
Finally you get to what’s called The Saddle, this divet between Sub Dome and the start of the god-forsaken cables. We sat there to rest, and I became SCARED with capital letters.
I am not really afraid of heights, and I’ve gone skydiving and parasailing and enjoyed both very much. But standing on The Saddle, you look around and you realize a wrong step or slip is literally life-threatening. No pictures I took really show the dimensions of it all, but it’s straight DROPS on either side of you. And it was a little windy which made it so much worse.
I have not cried out of fear in so so long, perhaps since infancy, but I was damn near close to it and almost backed out of doing the cables entirely. Then I was like shut the fuck up, fear!!! And we started the cables because we did not want to let fear win.
The cables are these two thick wires on either side of the path up to the top of Half Dome. Every ten feet or so there is a wooden bar that you rest on — there are 66 wooden bars or so. You use almost exclusively your upper body to pull yourself up by the cables to the next bar. Keep in mind the incline is now between 40 and 50 degrees, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that my Hokas were sliding down the mountain at certain points. Oh my God, my hands are sweating so much right now just thinking about it. You could collect the sweat and it would fill a Grande cup at Starbucks, but why would you do that, you sicko.
I looked behind me and almost threw up, which again surprised me because I usually am OK with heights. The worst part about the cables, though, is that it’s the only way to get up or down from Half Dome, so you have to make room for people coming down when you’re going up.
That means you have to walk to ONE EDGE of the wooden bar and put BOTH of your hands on just ONE side of the cables. And that is all that is keeping you on the mountain as you’re tilted at 50 degrees. Oh my FUCK!!!!! I’m trying so hard to explain to you how insane it was and it’ll never do the job fully but you just have to believe me. And I knowwww you believe me but I need you all to confirm by emailing me that you believe me once you finish this. Just so I can be sure.
We finally get to the top after 20 minutes or so of terrifying climbing, and it’s gorgeous and wild and insane, and we take a bunch of low-quality photos and then climb back down. It is MUCH easier and less scarier going down, thank God.
The way down to the valley was also way easier since it’s all downhill, and we made it in three hours or so. In total, from wake-up to return to camp, it was a 12-hour experience. My knees were basically useless by this point and I spent two days borderline limping because I was really not as prepared as I thought I was for that hike.
I am not complaining, though! It was one of the best days of my life. Everything was so beautiful, it was fun to chat with other people on the trail, and it felt so incredible to conquer the hike (and climb) and finish it all in one piece. Shoutout to Olivia who is really the only reason I actually did the cables, because I probably would not have done it if I were alone.
Basically, as I expected, Yosemite was incredible, but it did not change the course of my life forever, because obviously nothing insane happened to me and it was just a weekend of hiking. As it turns out, my life ISN’T a movie. And that’s okayyyyy and I am very happy to be back in the city and not testing the limits of my body and brain.
YOSEMITE WILDLIFE COUNT
Mule deer (8)
Vultures (many)
Marmot (1)
Bobcat (1, under our raised tent, scary)
Bears (not even a single one from afar!)
THREE SUCCESSIVE TEXTS I SENT A FRIEND THIS WEEK
damn why am i like this
i could’ve been so many different ways
but i’m this way
WHY DOES IT FEEL SO GOOD TO CRACK YOUR KNUCKLES?
I don’t have the answer. I am genuinely asking.
My dad would always get mad at me for cracking my knuckles near constantly as a youth and he said it would fuck up my joints and stuff. But I didn’t stop because I was anxious starting at age 5 and it also felt sooooo good??? And now apparently science says it’s actually OK to crack them and it won’t cause arthritis or anything of the sort. Do any scientists or even doctors read this newsletter and can you please message me about this thank you.
CAN A SONG GET BETTER THAN ‘ENCHANTED’ BY TAYLOR SWIFT?
NO!!!!!!!!!
No, I really don’t think it can. We need a president who speaks out about this!
One time at age 14 when I was dating my first girlfriend (I had three total in my heterosexual career, you can save your applause for the end) I texted her some of the lyrics to this song??? As a way of being like ily??? She was probably like “um you’re gay lmao!” Sorry but saying ‘you’re gay’ is the best punchline like she could’ve said that to me then and there and I would’ve FROZE! Nowhere to turn. Would’ve completely PWNed me.
Anyways the song slapped when I thought I was in love with a girl and it still does!
SOME OTHER THOUGHTS AS I HAVE A LOT THIS WEEK
New Troye Sivan… Total bop. Did not realize the dearth of swelling, gay love ballads in music today until this came along, and then I realized it. Need more of this. It makes me want to go back in time and come out BEFORE prom, not right after it, and then bring a boy as a date. Except I loved having Grace as my date so actually I don’t want to change that memory!
New Aly & AJ is a bop as well! I love that they’re just gonna give us a million songs a year. It does not feel like they’re constrained or manipulated by a label/management, it feels like we’re getting their artistry on their terms, not the industry’s, which I really appreciate.
I cannot bring myself to get into the Kacey Musgraves divorce album at this time but I liked all three singles and I am excited to do so when I am ready to be sad.
If you like Magdalena Bay, drum ‘n’ bass, Grimes, Yaeji, or anything like that, you should listen to Doss’s latest EP. So yum.
Title of this newsletter is from the new MUNA ft. Phoebe Bridgers song which is so good <3